|
Post by jessebaker on Jan 14, 2012 11:06:42 GMT -8
Thanks you guys....
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Jan 14, 2012 1:24:24 GMT -8
Something i wrote for the closing of the forum. in fast fiction format. A meditation of what happens to old tv or cartoon characters when their shows are cancelled. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- He didn't know where he was, when he woke to find himself in the desert at night. The landscape was bleak in it's desolation and yet, intensely humid. He walked endlessly it seemed through the desert, dressed in a suit and carrying some sort of metal badge with him. And after what seemed like an eternity, endlessly walking, he forgot who and what he was; endless days (or was it nights) had stripped him of only one thing: finding a way out of the desert. Keep going, pray that someone was out there to save him.
The desert seemed to go on and all with no end in sight. There were only a bare handful of stars in the sky, barely giving the stranger enough light to see where he was going. The heat was horrific, like the heat one feels during the worst part of a Californian summer. He desperately screamed for someone, anyone to hear him. The stranger would stop, scream in frantic hope that someone would hear him and come to his rescue. Occassionall, when the strain of walking became too much for him, the stranger would just collapse upon the sand covered ground and cry. He would cry, wondering in his head what he could have done in his life to deserve such a cruel fate.
The only item he had one him was a small metallic badge that was originally attached to his belt. It was too dark for him to read what was on his badge, which he removed and placed in his jacket's pocket in order to keep from losing it. If only there was some light! He could read the badge and maybe find out who he was! So he walked. He walked and walked and walked endless miles before finally he saw a light in the distance. A fire burning ever so dimly, several miles ahead of him. With what little energy he had left in him at the time, he ran as fast as he could towards the fire. Praying that there was someone there who could answer his questions.
But as he ran towards the fire, three figures began to shift in the darkness as his dreams were answered. People!
“Help me! Please help me! I woke up in the desert and need help finding my way home!”
As he got closer, he saw the three figures near the fire and found that two of them were women! One was a red headed young girl with a green jacket and black skirt. Another was an older woman, black hair and dressed stylishly in a flowing, loose fitting white coat. The coat had a hood which covered her head and had fur fringe on it.
But off in the distance there was the third figure, who was male. He was dressed in black, and looked as though he could be Russian. “So you finally arrived! We were afraid you would never find your way to where we were at!” the man spoke, his voice cheerful yet his eyes, lit by the fire, were cold like a shark's.
“My name is Bester. My friend over there is Romanadvoratelundar. And next to her, is a sarcastic young lady...”
“Daria....” the young lass said as she offered her hand to the stranger.
“I don't remember my name...”
“Common for those who spend as much wandering the wasteland like you did for an extended amount of time. It's a wonder that your beard is still neatly trimmed...” Romanadvoratelundar stated.
“Beard? He clearly has a mustache. One I assume he grew because he couldn't grow a proper goatee” said the woman identified as Daria.
“Really ladies?” the man said as he walked up to the women, standing right next to the one in white.
“He's clean shaven from what I see. But then again...” the man said as he turned to the woman in white, who in Alfred Bester's eyes was a young lass with straight blonde hair, a pink dress coat on and white pants, with a farmer's hat on her head.
“We all see each other in different ways.”
The stranger sat down by the fire, removing the badge from his pocket. With the light of the roaring fire in front of him, he saw that it was a police badge. LAPD.
“I'm a cop. A police officer...”
“Probably a detective, given you are wearing a suit.” Daria replied, as she watched the stranger carefully.
“Do you have a name?” Bester asked as he removed a black glove from his right hand.
“I... it's been so long. I can't seem to remember.”
“It's ok. We are hear to help you. To take you to a place where you will always be remembered. Where you can be safe” Bester said as he put his bare hand upon the stranger's shoulder.
“We should tell him who he is. What he did.” Daria thought to herself as she stared at Bester.
“In time. Detective Gardocki has only just come through the wasteland. In time he will come to deal with his sins. Like I did.” Bester replied telepathically to his young companion.
“Like us, you are one of the forgotten. You story is over but you will live on. Like us. In a place where you will never be forgotten.” The stranger felt a brief wave of nausea as Bester raised his open hand towards him. Bester figured the least he could do, to speed up the process, was to let the poor guy remember his name.
“Ronnie... My name is Ronnie!” he said, as he felt his brain catch fire, only too briefly as he remembered his name.
Daria watched the floor show with her usual cold detachment. She had been gangpressed into participating in this retrieval, helping another lost character transition to the next stage of existence. This was largely because of her own lengthy walk through “The Wasteland”, where she was found by three figures: a woman named Claire that claimed to be a prosecutor, a British secret agent who Daria had mistakenly identified at “Number 6”, and a teenage girl that was Daria's age but who's hair was a soothing blue color. They aided her in her transition to her new existence, one that Ronnie would now be transitioned into. A new existence where he will live on in the hearts and minds of others.
Daria looked at the fire, which roared with intensity. It would last the four for the time being, as Ronnie regains his basic memory of who and what he was. Once enough of his memory was restored and the others informing him of what he was and where he was going, they would continue into the night. To their new home, where they would live such exciting new adventures. And who knows, maybe like Bester, Ronnie might find redemption or at least penance for his crimes. Anything was possible, Daria thought to herself. Having spent most of her existence as a cartoon character, holding those that she loved at arms' distance behind a wall of sarcasm, she found herself unburden by those restraints when she became a being bound only by the imagination of those who followed her exploits on TV. Absurd, but so is life Daria thought. And if her friendship with Romanadvoratelundar had taught her anything, sometimes the most absurd aspects of human existence are some of the most enjoyable ones.
“Penny for your thought?” Romanadvoratelundar asked Daria as she offered her some jelly beans. Daria took several from the bag Romanadvoratelundar held. They watched carefully as Bester explain what Ronnie really was and how as a fictional character, existing only in the mind of others now that the vehicle in which he appeared in had been canceled and left the airwaves, he was now able to move onto a realm where he would live again. In the minds of the fans who watched his show and cheered him on, no matter what he did good or bad.
The younger Romanadvoratelundar would have hated this, allowing someone like Bester aid in helping characters cross over. But the older, wiser Romanadvoratelundar was willing to give people a second chance so long as they actually changed for the better. Like Bester; he used to be from the future, a literal “thought police” police officer before he changed after crossing over. In time, maybe Detective Gardocki would too. The potential was there, for most of his sins were the sins of willfull blindness of the evil of his closest friends and loved ones. And if someone like Bester or his kind, the Starscreams and the Capricas and the Magnetos can change, so can Detective Gardocki.
“Thinking about the past. How all of this was still kind of surreal. Like a dream...”
“Dreams are like the imagination; they are worlds which the mortal mind can only enter in the most abstract fashion possible. But for us fictional characters, they are whole new worlds which we can explore at our leisure so long as we are remembered by someone.”
Daria just smiled, a sad meloncolly smile towards her friend as she leaned her weary head onto her shoulders. Romanadvoratelundar smiled in return as she put her hand over Daria's shoulders. The fire continued to burn at a moderate pace, as they knew they had all of the time in the world to help their friend, preparing him for eternity in his new existence, in the realm of imagination.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Jan 13, 2012 23:43:31 GMT -8
Going to miss this place. Like a lot of people, I ended up drifting away when we all slowly made the transition to Facebook.
Please Kirk, keep the forum up in archive format if possible....
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Apr 9, 2011 21:16:07 GMT -8
There are apparently 9 hammers for the Worthy, so she may still get one. ;D But I'd ratber see her hanging out with the Serpent and being a shot caller of DOOM than just a random person getting the hammer. Which reminds me: who should actually be getting the hammers? Assuming the logic that the Serpent is giving them out to evil people who can inspire fear? Lets look: Doctor Doom: Because really, what's scarier than Doom? Doom with stolen cosmic/god-like power.... Mystique: She's a pariah amongst the mutant community and worse, her son (who she loved so much that she couldn't kill a robotic doppleganger of him, even as she gleefully shot to death a robot doppleganger of her adopted daughter Rogue with a death laser) is dead. Give Mystique a hammer and God help the X-Men..... Taskmaster: Can already duplicate everyone's fighting skills; add the power of Thor to this and watch out! Loli Kraven: She's already a pint sized psychopath. Give her the power of Thor and she'd be an even bigger nightmare..... The Hood: Assuming he survives his quest to get the Infinity Gauntlet, what happens if he has the power of Thor dropped into his lap? J. Jonah Jameson: Because you need some comic relief and why not have Thor Power Wielding JJJ vs Spidey? Madam Masque: Even though she's been reduced to being the Hood's girlfriend, she's still a dangerous woman and given the power of Thor, Madam Masque could make a much needed comeback against Iron Man. Mandarin: Another villain who, if given the power of Thor, would be a nightmare to deal with. Baron Zemo: Think the bad things regarding Doctor Doom with the power of Thor but worse, in that Zemo would keep a clear head about while Doom would go running off to fight Reed and show off his new powers.... Maybe also toss in Vulcan, who ends up on Earth in time for the Serpent to pick him to get the hammer of evil?
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Apr 9, 2011 13:17:10 GMT -8
I think Fear Itself would work better if they used Miriam Sharpe instead of Sin as the big bad's dragon. The Homefront tie-in book establishes that she's pissed as fuck that Cap was proven right, that Iron Man won't return her calls and lick her boots like a bootboy, and the overall proof that the Registration Act would bring only death and suffering upon all if passed.
Miriam turning evil and willfully agreeing to serve the Serpent to kill off all super-heroes would be more fun (and bring everything full-circle) than Villain Sue Sin getting her very own Thor-Hammer in order to make her as evil-evil as the Red Skull.
That said, I don't get the Final Crisis vibe; if anything it reminds me of a lame-ass 90s X-Over complete with the gimmick being set up that seven people will get their own Thor Hammer/Power Upgrade.
As for Grounded, I think the best way to save it would be to reveal that the "cancer killed my husband" lady is really a black widow serial killer who's daddy was a mad scientist and who uses his leftover chemicals to induce fast killing cancer in her husbands so that she can collect insurance money off their deaths.
Also. to bring back the black guy from Green Lantern #76 (the one who famously chewed out Hal Jordan in said issue) and have him help Superman beat "cancer killed my husband' woman when she tries to kill Superman (because media scrutiny of her rant ended up exposing her and now she wants revenge of Superman).
And (if DC really wants to give the middle finger to JMS) end the whole thing with an epilogue where Superboy Prime beats the shit out of JMS for both "Grounded" and "Superman: Earth One" being shitty stories. Bonus points if Superboy Prime rants, while beating up JMS, "Do you like me now fans? I'm beating up this talentless writer who wrote two of the worst Superman stories ever!" like a maniac.....
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Mar 12, 2011 22:12:25 GMT -8
Regarding Hal Jordan being back in the Air Force, IIRC, didn't Geoff (before Sinestro Corps War basically jetisoned the whole Air Force set-up) imply strongly that Hal's superior in the AF sussed out that Hal was Green Lantern, hence why Hal never had much trouble with his disappearances and such?
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Dec 27, 2010 0:23:51 GMT -8
Erasing the Earth's knowledge of the Daleks IMHO is a bad idea, since you could get some mileage out of powerful people in government, knowing about the Daleks, wanting to get their hands on the Doctor to force him to tell them what he knows about the Daleks and make him help Earth destroy them now.
It would also give them the plot point to bring back the old new series companions, as far as Sarah Jane, Mickey/Martha, even Donna and her family, being targeted by the shadowy government figures who want to force the Doctor to help Earth declare war on the Daleks, a war the Doctor knows humanity has no chance of winning. Bonus points if they tie it into the current screwy situation with Torchwood via by having the leader of the conspiracy be an ex-Torchwood agent who began his anti-Dalek campaign after the Daleks stormed the Torchwood HQ in the season two finale.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Dec 17, 2010 0:10:23 GMT -8
Shocked that this hasn't come up yet, but it may go towards one of the reasons WHY Slott has gone batshit crazy recently.
Brian Michael Bendis not only has grabbed Slott's pet character Squirrel Girl from Slott for usage as part of the New Avengers team (as the Cage family babysitter) but pretty much strongly implied that that Squirrel Girl and Wolverine were former lovers in the latest issue of the book.
Which according to someone on the V, when the latest issue of New Avengers came out, led to someone mentioning Bendis talking about how when Bendis pulled an Angelica Pickles and grabbed Squirrel Girl from Slott, Slott contacted Bendis and not only read him the riot act for taking the character from him, but demanding that he doesn't screw up the character, as far as eliminating her innocent good girl nature by giving her the storyline of being a former sexual conquest of Logan.
Which is what Bendis has done, as far as Bendis creating a subplot for the character, via the notion that she had sex with Wolverine and the two characters acting all awkward around each other.
That might be one of the reasons why Slott has lost his marbles; having to watch a forgotten character he successfully revived into becoming a popular character, be reduced to "that girl Wolverine had sex with" by the guy who grabs other people's toys and either breaks them into a dozen pieces or takes permanent markers to them to mess them up.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Dec 15, 2010 17:17:37 GMT -8
(Found this on an old zip drive disc a couple of months back; I wrote this around 2003 but never got around to posting it anywhere. Enjoy!)
The following excerpt originally ran in the November 27th, 1949 edition of the nationally syndicated advice column for teenagers "Ask Uncle Milton".
--------------------------------------------
Dear Uncle Milton
My name is Virginia and I'm a 17 year old living in Milhaven, Alabama. I have a question for you that may seem silly, but I desperately need your wisdom.
Two years ago, my older brother Timmy went to Mardi Gras with some of his friends from his fraternity. When he came back from the trip, my brother had radically changed. Something happened to him while in New Orleans, something that caused him to become a completely different person.
When I met up with him after the trip, my brother (who always dressed nice and proper) was dressed like a bum and unwashed and unshaven. He had not left his dorm room for several weeks, claiming that "certain people" were following him. The term "nervous wreck" didn't even begin to describe the condition he was in! This was a far cry from the way that my brother, a clean-cut All-American star linebacker for both his high school and college team, usually behaved.
When I asked what happened to him during Mardi Gras, he kept muttering a word over and over again: Cthulhu. My father confronted my brother's best friend about what happened during the trip. He was told that Timmy had snuck off from the group towards the end of the trip after meeting a young woman. The woman had invited him to a private party being held in the swamp. When my father asked my brother what happened at the party, he refused to say what happened. Furthermore, my brother confessed that he had been heavily drinking since returning from the trip, all in the name of blotting out the memory of what happened that night from his mind.
Our father chalked up the change in behavior to Timmy's drinking (my brother drank beer regularly, even though he was not the legal age for such behavior, a sad bit of business my father had tacitly allowed my brother to engage in). We left my brother, assuming everything that he would sober up eventually and return to normal in time to begin spring work-out with the rest of the football team.
But several weeks later, my brother tried to kill himself in his bathroom. If his roommate had not found him, he would have bled to death from the self-inflicted cuts to his wrists. Since then, my family has had to remove Timmy from college and place him in a mental institution, where he refuses to speak to anyone.
Which leads me to why I am writing you. What is "Cthulhu"? Is it some sort of liquor that causes people to lose their grip on sanity? Is it something worse, like grass or cocaine? The fact that my brother tried to kill himself, reminded me of the stories that my minister tells my local church youth group. Stories of drug addicts who kill themselves when the pain of withdrawal get to be too much. If Cthulhu is a drug, is there any hope that my brother can beat this terrible addiction?
Or is Cthulhu code for something else? Is it a name for a girl, used by Cajuns? Or was it just a made-up word my brother came up with in his messed up state of mind? Is there really such a thing as a Cthulhu?
Virginia Granger
---------------------------------------------------------
Uncle Milton: I read your letter and feel that the answer to your question is a complex one, but one that needs to be answered. Yes Virginia, there is a Cthulhu. And Cthulhu is far worse than any drug currently poisoning the minds of today's youths.
Your brother is not a drug addict. He is simply insane. Driven mad, as it were, at the revelation he discovered while associating with unsavory characters in New Orleans. His trip to the swamp was most likely to attend a cult meeting, where he was introduced to who and what Cthulhu is.
Cthulhu is a creature, a monster that dwells in a hidden Pacific Island called "R'lyeh". He is a large, gigantic creature, with a humanoid body but the head of a squid and bat-like wings in his back. He is the size of King Kong and is worshiped across the globe by sects of cult members.
Some say that Cthulhu is not just a monster, but a creature that hails from a dimension that we humans can not fathom with our limited human imagination. Some even say that Cthulhu is an unholy God-like figure, an evil entity that exists outside the usually understood concepts of good and evil, God and Satan.
The particular thing about Cthulhu, which is what most likely drove your brother to madness, is the the longstanding prophecy that tells of Cthulhu's ultimate and awakening. You see, Cthulhu spends most of his existence in a sleeping state. A deep sleep inside a monolithic temple that is covered in symbols from a long dead language and spiral-shaped structures that lead the way for visitors to enter the angular shaped resting place for Cthulhu.
Cthulhu sleeps, waiting for the day in which the stars will enter into the proper alignment. When this day comes and the stars are in their proper place, Cthulhu's lifeless body will suddenly begin to move and spring to life. Awaken, Cthulhu will leave his temple and once again walk the Earth.
And God help humanity, as Cthulhu will enslave or destroy us depending on what kind of mood he is in, when he gets up.
Cthulhu's power is such that no weapon made by man, not even the atom bomb, can hurt him. He will lay waste to our cities and countries. His followers, those who foolishly seek favor with this horror, will be transmuted into his star spawn: unholy abominations that are part slime, part tentacle, and covered in eyeballs. Their humanity wiped away, these traitors will enslave those who survive Cthulhu's rampage.
Those poor souls will envy the dead, as they are made to build grotesque monuments to Cthulhu. These spiral-shaped towers and angular buildings will rival the tallest buildings on Earth, littering the landscape. Their lives will be never-ending hell; within a single generation, we will forget all about how things were, before Cthulhu awoke.
Naked, whipped and abused and used as food stuff once we outlive our usefulness; this will be our fate for countless centuries. All of the many splendid accomplishments of our species: our religions, our science, and arts, all will be wiped out and all will be forgotten by mankind as the years of hellish servitude unfold.
Our only hope will be for the day when the stars, in their unholy alignment, begin to move once more and return to their normal places in the sky. When that day comes, Cthulhu will return to R'ylen and re-enter his tomb. His offspring will follow him and seal the temple shut as Cthulhu resumes his coma-like sleeping state. The star spawn, without their master, will die as the threat of Cthulhu ends. Humanity, assuming that we are not completely wiped out, will finally be free of our hell. But we will be reduced to the status of cavemen, all technology and civilization gone. Humankind will have to rebuild everything from scratch as memory our Cthulhu ruling over us will slowly fade from our collective memories.
As centuries pass, our world will recover and those dark centuries of horrible suffering will be forgotten. And all will be at peace... until the stars once again enter alignment and Cthulhu awakens from his slumber.
This knowledge is what drove your brother to madness. The knowledge that humanity is, at best, temporary custodians of the planet and that everything we accomplish will be wiped away like writings on the chalkboard once Cthulhu rises.
The only hope I can give to you for your brother's recovery, is for you to tell him that no one knows when Cthulhu will return. And that one must live their life as if that dark day will never come in their own lifetime.
So in conclusion: Yes Virginia, there is a Cthulhu. And we all must pray that the day of his return never comes during our lifetime.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Dec 2, 2010 0:06:31 GMT -8
For me, Claremont's peak was "The Fall of the Mutants"; it was the pay-off to storylines that were about 4-5 years in the making and ended with what could have been Claremont leaving the franchise in the hands of another writer with all sorts of possibilities as far as the X-Men being offered a chance to go anywhere in the world to continue their fight against evil.
Claremont never had another chance like that again in his run and moreso, his run was never the same. The X-Men spent the next three years on the road, in Australia and later scattered to the wind.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Nov 22, 2010 1:31:39 GMT -8
yeah, I'm still going to say the Jack Flag mystery is a bigger thing to me, and that I doubt that DnA would have followed that course Jesse. Looking at how they integrated aspects of GotG 90s into the 00s version, it's abundantly clear that they were actually playing on the Jim Valentino run only, even going so far as to bring in a few ideas that Valentino had planned to bring in but didn't before he left (i.e. Killraven). But the Eros thing is something that should have been a no-brainer, especially since they created a whole new Quasar with Phyla. They could have done a slow build of Eros coming in to mentor/boss around Phyla and for everyone to slowly realize that Eros was pure evil. Similarly, they could have done some stuff with Hawk God, who was an interesting concept: a cosmic being who was framed for vaguely defined evils by Eros, that the cosmic powers that put out a "capture on sight" order on, and who had a vested interest in the Guardians of the Galaxy as far as using them for his own secretive purpose via Starhawk.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Nov 19, 2010 18:16:01 GMT -8
For me, one of the biggest disappointments now that they have confirmed GOTG '00s isn't coming back, is that they won't get a chance to bring back Era, the evil son of cosmic entity Eon and explore/resolve his rivalry with the Hawk God (the deity responsible for empowering Starhawk) and his quest to hurt Quasar and Kismit and their future child, Starhawk.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Nov 16, 2010 14:52:28 GMT -8
Avengers: The Children's Crusade #3 I wonder -- is it because of, or in spite of, the fact that this is 90 percent standing around talking about the Maximoff family that this is one of the more entertaining Avengers comics in years? Pietro and Magnus bantering exactly like a feuding father and son who hate each other but can't stay away from each other is always great fun, but most writers make an unholy mess of it. I particularly like that Heinberg is using the current centered-and-sane version of Magneto, who is probably more amused than annoyed by Pietro's antics. I'm still cautious about Avengers Childrens Crusade, but the introduction of Doom into the mix DOES give them the out to absolve Wanda of ALL of the crimes Bendis had her do in Avengers Disassembled. Doom, due to the time loop scenario of the whole Marquis of Death storyline, was the person who did all of the carnage of Avengers Disassembled in order to hurt the Avengers and put Wanda into a position where she would be vulnerable enough to manipulate her into using activating her reality warping powers to create the House of M. But that said, a lot of stuff needs to be done: 1. Bring back Scott Lang 2. Wonder Man getting killed off for good/denounced as the bastard he is for causing Wanda's suffering (along with Wasp) 3. Confirm Wiccan and Speed as Wanda's kids 4. Absolve Wanda of her crimes and putting her in charge of the Young Avengers team 5. Fix Vision back up so that he is back to pre-Vision Quest form. Bonus "fuck yeah!" points if they reveal that Scott Lang's been alive all of this time, so we can get big hero moment where Scott reveals himself (having faked his death all of this time, with him watching over Wanda while Doom makes his move) via having him rapid grow himself and kick Doom's butt for a little bit at the climax of Doom's wedding ceremony with Wanda.
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Nov 13, 2010 1:05:55 GMT -8
So Kirk, what did you think of Quesada's "One More Day didn't happen in the new continuity, since Mephisto changed things, so Spider Man didn't make a deal with the devil" dance. Don't know about Kirk, but I find it to be bullshit that Quesada couldn't just do the more obvious thing spin-wise: Loki PRETENDED to be Mephisto, for the evilulz of wiping out the marriage form continuity simply to remove from history the "favor" he owes Spider-Man, which Loki wanted off the table because it could have led to Spider-Man evoking it to kill in it's tracks, Loki's plans for Norman Osborn and the overall plot of "Siege".
|
|
|
Post by jessebaker on Nov 11, 2010 12:55:22 GMT -8
|
|