The Quotable 60s Batman

[jessebaker]

Repost from the old forum that I think deserves posting again on this forum
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Robin: "Let's go!"
Batman: "Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this
country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a drinking tavern."

Dick Grayson: "What's so important about Chopin?"
Bruce Wayne: "All music is important, Dick. It's the universal
language. One of our best hopes for the eventual realization of the
brotherhood of man."
Dick Grayson: "Gosh Bruce, yes, you're right. I'll practice harder
from now on."

Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."

Batman: "Better put 5 cents in the meter."
Robin: "No policeman's going to give the Batmobile a ticket."
Batman: "This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our
part."

Robin: "Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I
was pretty scared!"
Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."
Robin: "Not at all?"
Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious
ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."

Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!"
Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene."

Bruce: "Yes, Dick, your bird calls are close to perfect. If more
people practiced them, someday we might have a chance for real
communication with our feathered friends."
Dick: "In that case I think I'll polish up my ruby-crowned kinglet and
my rose-breasted yellow-tailed grouse-beak calls."

Dick: "Sorry, I'm not interested in dance lessons."
Bruce: "Wait a minute, Dick. The junior prom's coming up, isn't it?"
Dick: "Yes, but..."
Bruce: "Well, we don't want you to be a wallflower, do we? Dancing is
an integral part of every young man's education."
Dick: "Gosh Bruce, you're right."

Batman to Robin: "When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it
is to become lured by the female of the species."

Robin: "I guess you can never trust a woman."
Batman: "You've made a hasty generalization, Robin. It's a bad habit
to get into."

Robin: "That's an impossible shot, Batman."
Batman: "That's a negative attitude, Robin."

Batman: "The green button will turn the car a la escarda o a la drecia."
Robin: "To the left or right. Threw in a little Spanish on me, huh,
Batman?"
Batman: "One should always keep abreast of foreign tongues, Robin."

Dick: "Gosh, Economics is sure a dull subject."
Bruce: "Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour,
the romance of commerce... Hmm. It's the very lifeblood of our
country's society."

Bruce: "Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might be
besmirched."

Batman: "That's one trouble with dual identities, Robin. Dual
responsibilities. "

Batman: "In fact, Mr. Wayne is taking Mrs. Harriet Cooper, a devotee
of Miss Glaze's, backstage before the performance to meet the dazzling
star."
Robin: "While Dick Grayson, I suppose, stays home and works on his
essay on glaciers?"
Batman: "Right again, Robin."

Robin: "To the batcave?"
Batman: "And up the batpoles."
Robin: "The batpoles?"
Batman: "Even crimefighters need their sleep, Robin."

Robin: "Picked up the seal pulsator yet, Batman?"
Batman: "We're still over land, Robin, and a seal is an aquatic,
marine mammal."
Robin: "Gosh, yes, Batman, I forgot."

Robin: "Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?"
Batman: "The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in
his utility belt, Robin."

Robin: "Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know."
Batman: "I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one
does for poetry and olives."

Robin, to Carpet King: "You must be that gentleman I've read about.
Aren't you a king or something?"
Batman: "Robin, England has no king now. England has a queen, and a
great lady she is, too."

Robin: "Gosh, Batman, this camel grass juice is great."
Batman: "Beware of strong stimulants, Robin."

Batman: "Robin, the Constitution provides that a man is innocent until
proven guilty. And the Constitution is the cornerstone of our great
nation. We must abide by it."
Robin: "Gosh, when you put it that way..."

Batman: "Man-eating lilacs have no teeth, Robin. It's a process of
ingestion through their tentacles."

Batman (after cracking a safe): "It's not difficult, if you have
steady nerves and a good ear. Quality is destroyed by the tenor of
criminal life."

Batman: "An older head can't be put on younger shoulders."

Robin: "Venus seemed like a nice girl in that costume."
Batman: "I suspect she is a nice girl down deep, but she's fallen in
with bad companions. And who knows what her home life was like."

Batman: "Go back outside and calm the flower children."
Robin: "They'll mob me!"
Batman: "Groovy."

Batman: "You know your neosauruses well, Robin. Peanut butter
sandwiches it is."

Batman: "Too many Bessarovian Cossacks around here, Robin. If I'd
joined you in the fight, some of them may have been injured."

Robin, about Batgirl: "She's gone again! For once, Batman, let's
follow her."
Batman: "No, Robin. With my head sticking out of this neosaurus
costume, I might not appear like an ordinary, run of the mill
crimefighter. "

Bruce: "Just because we're traveling, I don't think that Dick should
neglect his studies, so we brought along one thousand key works of
literature, his biological specimens, and also his own desk."
Dick: "Yes, I expect to study hard."

Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than
you are."

Superintendent Watson: "Well, I think this calls for a cup of char at
venerable Ireland Yard."
Robin: "Char?"
Batman: "Yes, Robin, a colloquialism for tea."

Catwoman: "Let noone say that Catwoman is not the best-dressed woman
in the world."
Batman: "There are no fashion shows where you're going, Catwoman."
Robin: "And how could a feline feloness like you also be a fashion model?"
Batman: "Ah-ah. Give credit where credit is due, Robin. She may be
evil, but she is attractive. You'll know more about that in a couple
of years."

Robin: "If we close our eyes, we can't see anything."
Batman: "A sound observation, Robin."

Robin, about Catwoman: "Do you think she'll kill Batgirl?"
Batman: "Or worse, Robin. Or worse."

Batman: "Nobody wants war."
Robin: "Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them
in a few hours."
Batman: "Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years."

Joker: "Let bygones be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of
you. Can't we be friends?"
Robin: "I'd rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!"
Batman: "You're being cynical, Robin. To err is human, to
forgive...divine. "

Batman: "What took you so long, Batgirl?"
Batgirl: "Rush hour traffic, plus all the lights were against me. And
you wouldn't want me to speed, would you?"
Robin: "Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives!"
Batman: "Rules are rules, Robin. But you do have a point."

Batman: "Cattail Lane and Nine Lives Alley. The Grimalkin Novelty
Company is on that corner."
Robin: "Grimalkin? What kind of a name is that?"
Batman: "An obscure but nevertheless acceptable synonym for cat, Robin."

Robin, looking at Batgirl: "You know something, Batman?"
Batman: "What's that, Robin?"
Robin: "She looks very pretty when she's asleep."
Batman: "I thought you might eventually notice that. That single
statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum."

Robin: "Gosh, if I could just figure out that riddle. Why can't I get it?"
Batman: "Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to
you on the way across town, eh?"
Robin: "Awww, come on, Batman."

Dick: "Awww, heck! What's the use of learning French anyway?"
Bruce: "Dick, I'm surprised at you! Language is the key to world
peace. If we all spoke each other's tongues, perhaps the scourge of
war would be ended forever."
Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, yes. I'll get these darn verbs if they kill me!"

Robin: "What do we do, tip off Commissioner Gordon?"
Batman: "No, not on your life, old man. The Penguin and I have a score
to settle."

Dick: "Wow! The rings of Saturn! This is sure some fun, Bruce."
Bruce: "Astronomy is more than mere fun, Dick."
Dick: "It is?"
Bruce: "Yes, it helps give us a sense of proportion. Reminds us how
little we are, really. People tend to forget that sometimes."
Dick: "Gosh yes, that's right. I'll bet I see those rings a little
differently this time!"

Robin: "Gosh, there could be diplomatic repercussions if we fail this
time, Batman."
Batman: "That's not the point, Robin. What's important is that the
world know that all visitors to these teeming shores are safe, be they
peasant or king."
Robin: "Gee, Batman, I never thought of that. You're right."
Batman: "It's the very essence of our democracy."

Batman to Robin: "Stop fiddling with that atomic pile and come down here!"

Dick: "Gosh, botany is tough. I'll never learn to recognize all these
trees!"
Bruce: "Come come, Dick. Pine. Elm. Hickory, chestnut, maple. Part of
our heritage is the lure of living things, the storybook of nature."
Dick: "That's true, Bruce. I'll learn to read that book of nature yet!"

Batman: "Robin, you haven't fastened your safety bat-belt."
Robin: "We're only going a couple of blocks."
Batman: "It won't be long until you are old enough to get a driver's
license, Robin, and you'll be able to drive the Batmobile and other
vehicles. Remember, motorist safety."
Robin: "Gosh, Batman, when you put it that way.."

Bruce: "When we have more time, I'll acquaint you with the various
processes of sculptoring. It's a fascinating art to which I devoted
many hours of study."
Dick: "I sure would like to hear about it, Bruce."

Batman (during a bat-climb): "Careful, Robin. Both hands on the Bat-rope."
Robin: "Sorry, Batman."

Robin (about Lydia Limpet): "Gosh, Batman, those look like honest eyes."
Batman: "Never trust the old chestnut, 'Crooks have beady little
eyes'. It's false."

Robin: "When we put the fake jewels in Miss Starr's safe and take the
real ones out, we could be nailed as crooks."
Batman: "That's a chance we have to take, Robin. In our well ordered
society, protection of private property is essential."
Robin: "Yes, you're right, Batman. That's the keystone to all law and
order."

Dick Grayson: "I thought Lima was the capital of Equador."
Bruce Wayne: "As you can see, I was right. It's the capital of Peru."
Aunt Harriet: "Oh, I just love this game of capitals. It's just so
educational! "
Bruce: "Not only that, if we don't know all about our friends to the
south, how can we can carry out our good neighbor policy?"

Bruce: "Most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incas.
Very few appreciate they gave us the white potato and many varieties
of Indian corn."
Dick: "Now whenever I eat mashed potatos, I for one will think of the
Incas."

Dick (working on a jigsaw puzzle): "It's so much harder with the
pieces upside down."
Bruce: "Of course. Think of what excellent training it is for your
visual memory."
Dick: "Gosh yes, I guess that's true."

(in Batmobile, on golf course)
Robin: "Let's get going and make an emergency bat-turn!"
Batman: "Not this time, old chum. Have to think of the golfers. The
retro-rockets would burn up the course for a hundred yards."

Batman: "Human mechanisms are made by human hands, Robin. None of them
is infallible. It is a lesson that must be faced."

Batman: "That's life, Robin, full of ups and downs. It ill befits any
of us to become to confident."

Batman (about to cross the street): "Remember Robin, always look both
ways."

Robin: "It sure is a shame, Batman. A restaurant with such terrific
chow turning out to be a mere front for some criminal scheme."
Batman: "Look at it this way, Robin. That $100 cover charge is pretty
stiff. Penguin's 'terrific chow' is hardly within the budget of the
average worker."
Robin: "Gosh yes, you're right, Batman. All the needy people in the
world, all the hungry children."
Batman: "Good thinking, Robin."

Dick: "Gosh Bruce, Greek is still Greek to me."
Aunt Harriet: "It's Greek to a lot of Greeks too. It's one of the
world's oldest, most important, most beautiful languages."
Dick: "It may be, Aunt Harriet, but can't we take a breather and work
out in the gym for a while?"
Aunt Harriet: "But the mind needs excercise too, Dick."
Dick: "Well, my mind is getting muscle-bound. "
Bruce: "Ahhh, there is an old saying, Dick. A sound mind and a sound
body. A worthy goal."

Batman: "Ma Parker's girl is more dangerous than her three boys."
Robin: "Her legs sort of reminded me of Catwoman's."
Batman: "You're growing up, Robin. Remember, in crime-fighting always
keep your sights raised."

Robin: "But what is it?"
Batman: "Saribus Sacer. A species of ancient Egyptian beetle, sacred
to the Sun God, Hymeopolos. And from which the term scarab is derived.
But, you should know that, Robin, if you are up on your studies of
Egyptology."
Robin: "You're right."

Batman: "I know. Hieroglyphics self-taught are a chore, Robin; but, it
is a surefire way to unravel the secrets of the ancient mystics."

Batman: "Experience teaches slowly, Robin. And at a cost of many
mistakes."

Robin: "I am a little hungry."
Batman: "Of course, Robin. Even crime-fighters must eat. And
especially you. You're a growing boy and you need your nutrition."

Batman: "Remember the Boy Scouts' motto."
Robin: "'Be prepared'."
Batman: "It would do well to keep that in mind at all times."

Robin: "We better hurry, Batman."
Batman: "Not too fast, Robin. In good bat-climbing as in good driving
one must never sacrifice safety for speed."
Robin: "Right again, Batman."

Batman: "Tarnished reputations are unfortunate, Robin. We can live
with those. However, a threat to all of Gotham City is something else."

Robin: "Self-control is sure tough sometimes, Batman!"
Batman: "All virtues are, old chum. Indeed, that's why they're virtues."

Robin: "How about rushing the place, Batman?"
Batman: "Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a
few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they
plan something really big."

Dick: "Bruce, let me ride Waynebow. I'm light enough."
Bruce: "No, Dick, I couldn't allow my own ward to ride my own
thoroughbred. People might think it was funny."

[jensaltmann]

Dec 8, 2008 17:59:06 GMT -8 jessebaker said:

Batman: "Nobody wants war."
Robin: "Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them
in a few hours."
Batman: "Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years."

This proves that Batman writers were smarter than some other people decades later, who either didn't watch or didn't understand the show.

[jarddavis]

Someone needs to rewrite these using Frank Miller's dialogue style for Dark Knight. Same intent, pseudo noirish dialogue...

[jkcarrier]

Dec 9, 2008 15:26:53 GMT -8 jarddavis said:

Someone needs to rewrite these using Frank Miller's dialogue style for Dark Knight.

Sort of along those lines:

www.beaucoupkevin.com/blog/josh-started-it-and-then-it-was-all-downhill/2007/10/01/