OMD/BND: The thread that does not die!

[paulpogue]

The one Spider-Book worth reading, "Spider-Man Family" (and that's just for Mayday ), is being replaced by a new "Web of Spider-Man," featuring two new stories a month, one with a different villain and one with Spider-Girl.

The big news: The first issue features the man called Kaine.

You know, I was kidding around, mostly, when I said I expected to see Kaine back ...

www.newsarama.com/comics/070914-WEb-SpiderMan.html

[K-Box]

Comic Book Resources: Joe Kelly on "American Son"

Call me crazy, but when the writer of a just-completed story arc devotes an entire interview to telling his own audience how they should interpret, and how they should feel about, what it was that they just read, I'm going to call that damage control.

Notice how much Kelly tries to sell the idea that Norman still being in absolute power - with absolute freedom to commit absolute evil, and with no real changes to his pre-story arc status quo whatsoever - still constitutes a "victory" for Harry and Peter. If this is how Marvel defines "victory" for its heroes now, then their problems go a lot deeper than any retcon.

[K-Box]

Say hello to the new Doctor Octopus, from Amazing Spider-Man #600:



Dogshit.

That is all.

[paulpogue]

Not showing up.

[K-Box]

Jul 22, 2009 12:45:51 GMT -8 paulpogue said:

Not showing up.

It is for me, even after clearing my cache:

img186.imageshack.us/img186/4316/newdocock.jpg

[paulpogue]

Works fine for me now. I'm wondering if there were some firewall issues with the access point I was using from the hospital. Usually it works fine, but every so often it finds a site it doesn't like. Thanks!

And P.S.: Holy FRAK, that looks awful. I think I liked it better as a red X.

[K-Box]

Two pages from Amazing Spider-Man #:



Translation of the first page: Yes, our continuity is fucked! No, we're not going to explain it!

Yes, I get that it's a joke, but making fun of the fact that the continuity regarding things like Mary Jane's pregnancy simply can't be reconciled, and then, choosing to characterize that very same irreconcilability as literally maddening, is not the way to make the new status quo seem more appealing. Indeed, when you couple this Stan Lee-written page with the "Dallas" retcon of the marriage retcon in the Stan Lee-written Amazing Spider-Man comic strip - which Stan Lee and Roy Thomas claimed on-panel was the result of overwhelming reader demand for the restoration of the marriage, even though they'd always planned for the marriage retcon to be temporary in the comic strip - it's hard not to see this as a Take That to the current Marvel regime from Stan Lee.



Translation of the second page: HA HA HA PETER ALWAYS LOVED GWEN AND NOT MARY JANE, MARY JANE NEVER LOVED PETER, AND EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE HAS BEEN RETCONNED, "SINS PAST" IS STILL IN CONTINUITY!!! ISN'T IT FUNNY???

For as much as the current Marvel regime bemoans the fans, like me, who refuse to stop complaining about their retcons and editorial mandates, they really do go out of their way to antagonize us, even though there's no discernible benefit in doing so, since even a lot of supporters of the new status quo have rolled their eyes and expressed the desire to see Marvel move past this shit. Scabs do not heal if you keep picking at them.

[michaelpaciocco]

Kirk, let's make it official.

I think you should clean up your blog/LJ/Forum posts, edit them (I'm sure there are plenty here who are willing to help), do the homework, and I think you should become the modern chronicler of the this saga and turn it into a separate series of items ala the Life of Reilly

lifeofreillyarchives.blogspot.com/

(BTW, this is awesome reading, no matter how badly you think the Clone Saga sucked eggs)

[K-Box]

No.

As it stands, I'm already too far removed from the reason I got into fandoms in the first place, which was to GET THE HELL AWAY from everything in the rest of the world that pisses me off.

The moment that this becomes my JOB, in addition to all the stress it's causing me as my "hobby" ... FUCK no.

I actually agree with you on the "Life of Reilly" archives, but I'd sooner shove a crochet needle directly up my own dickhole before I'd ever consent to such an undertaking myself.

Once upon a time, I would have loved to write comic books.

Now, knowing what I do about them, I can honestly say that I'd literally rather kill myself.

[michaelpaciocco]

OK. Figured it'd be worth a shot. Somebody's going to do it eventually. But yes, "Life of Reilly" is a really good read. Pity no one at Marvel ever did read it.

[michaelpaciocco]

io9.com/5321827/marvels-joe-quesada-spills-about-comics-movies-and-internet-baiting

Shorter Translation: Anti-BND people have to suck it up. It's comics. And I poke you with a sharp stick every once in a while because I can and it's fun and all it does is help generate interest.

I think I'll plop this into a full blown "JQ translator" blogpost at some point in the next few days.

[K-Box]

In Amazing Spider-Man #601, seeing Mary Jane Watson at his Aunt May's wedding apparently caused Peter Parker to regress into near-prepubescence, because that's the only reason I can conceive of for why he had to get falling-down drunk just to work up the nerve to speak to her, and the next morning, he woke up naked in bed with his equally nude roommate, Michelle Gonzales, with no memory of whether or not they'd even had sex. As a direct result, she threw him out of the apartment where he'd been staying rent-free, on her tab, and worse yet, he now can't remember when and where he and Mary Jane had finally agreed to meet up.

Don't believe me?







Quoth the Comics Bulletin review:

Some people might feel that this behaviour is a little out-of-character, but in my opinion it humanises Peter, putting him in a situation that many of his adult readers will be able to relate to, and emphasising his status as the everyman of the Marvel Universe as a result.

If the ONLY way that you can RELATE to Peter Parker - the man whose personal motto is all about RESPONSIBILITY - is to see him turned into an emotionally retarded idiot who doesn't even have the balls to TALK to his ex without getting BLACKOUT drunk and possibly engaging in a one-night stand with an equally alcohol-impaired woman whom he still BARELY knows and has NO real feelings for? Then I JUDGE you, because you're a terrible person, and I HATE you, PERSONALLY, as a HUMAN BEING. Spider-Man is NOT a Seth Rogen character, and everyone who wants to see him portrayed as one, including the current Marvel regime, deserves to be beaten into a coma. You people are The Cancer That Is Killing Superheroes, and I despise the holy living shit out of every last fucking one of you.

And what a surprise! Mark Waid, the writer of Steve Rogers as a sap and Sharon Carter as a shrew in all of their scenes together during his Captain America run, is once again using one of his favorite misogynistic sitcom "romance" tropes, ie. The Spineless Moron & The Hateful Bitch! This time, though, he's REALLY managed to outdo himself, because if Peter and Michelle DID have sex, then given the amount of alcohol that they both consumed, that NECESSARILY makes one or both of them guilty of DATE RAPE. WHAT A BRILLIANT PREMISE FOR HUMOR, MARK WAID, YOU TONE-DEAF WANNABE-HIPSTER CAPTAIN YESTERDAY!!! FOR ADDED LULZ, I BET WE'LL NEVER EVEN FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT PETER AND MICHELLE HAD SEX, BECAUSE WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHY PETER AND MARY JANE BROKE UP, MORE THAN A YEAR AND A HALF AFTER THE FACT!!!

[K-Box]

... And yes, Jesse, you may quote me on The V. You and Coyle seem to make a sport out of doing so anyway ...

[K-Box]

Official word from Marvel: Spider-Man is about YOUTH, NOT about "With great power comes great RESPONSIBILITY."

How the hell did I miss this one?

All the way back in January of last year, right at the start of "Brand New Day," Tom Brevoort showed us all exactly why NuSpidey was doomed to suck, because he betrayed the current Marvel regime's fundamental misunderstanding of the character:

[...] Spider-Man is about youth.

[...] As Steve Ditko once pointed out, being High School age meant that it was acceptable for Peter Parker to screw up, to make mistakes and learn from them, in a way that would have been pathetic for more established, more heroic super heroes. (Ditko also lamented having had Peter graduate High School and go onto College.)

[...] Spider-Man is no more about responsibility than Batman is about criminals being a superstitious and cowardly lot. That's the tagline to the first adventure, and a strong moral message to go out on, but it's what that story is about, not what the series is about.

[...] Once you strip this element away, Spider-Man becomes just another in a long line of super heroes who are well-adjusted and self-aware (well, as well-adjusted as any super heroes can be). [...] You're resolving the final question of Peter Parker's self-worth, allowing him to overcome all of his fears and doubts and guilt and letting him grow up and find acceptance. And that's the one thing you can never let him do.

Here's the problem, though:

Even after all of his retcons, NuSpidey DID graduate from high school and college, and he's now screwing up and making mistakes (and NOT learning from ANY of them) even WORSE than he EVER did when he was in high school.

Therefore, Tom Brevoort, by YOUR OWN ADMISSION, you have made Spider-Man PATHETIC.

You also seem not to have understood any of the Lee-and-Ditko Spider-Man stories that you've ever read, because as soon as his Uncle Ben died, Peter was ALREADY forced to GROW UP. He became not only the primary breadwinner for his family, but also the caregiver for his frail and elderly mother figure, which was why he had so much drama in his life, because he was balancing ADULT-sized work and family obligations, PLUS a superhero career, with all of the social obligations of an ADOLESCENT, which was, in turn, why he was so often shunned by his peers, since they looked down on him for not being a BOY, because he was too busy being a responsible MAN.

So take your midlife crisis and your Silver Age traditionalism and shove them both up your ASS, since you already seem to be able to fit your own HEAD up there with the greatest of ease.

[paulpogue]

It's impressive when a high-level comics professional -- who only a few years ago was regarded as the Last Sane Editor in Comics -- can so badly miss the point of Spider-Man AND Batman in one shot.

For his next trick, he will demonstrate why Superman is not about truth, justice and the American way.