The Watchmen Secks Thread

[Anders]

Well, webcomic artists:





I'm not sure if Alan Moore should be annoyed or amused.

[jensaltmann]

Alan Moore will probably start working on a time machine to go back 25 years and tell his younger self to not write this book.

[K-Box]

NICE, dude.

Although, really, discussions of Dr. Manhattan's big blue penis rate as practically VANILLA when compared to GENDER-REVERSED GAY WATCHMEN PORNOGRAPHY.

Go ahead; click the link.

I dare you.

[Anders]

Heh, pretty funny. I didn't read the whole thing, but the idea is... well, funny.

[K-Box]

REAL-LIFE WATCHMEN RULE 63 PRESENTS EDIE BLAKE, THE COMEDIENNE:

[K-Box]

Retitled the thread to more accurately represent what it's evolved into.

[K-Box]

Yes, it's exactly what we all expected would happen, once the Watchmen movie got its own fandom.

Thank madamotaku for bringing elevator_shaft to my attention:

DOWN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT - a community for WATCHMEN comic devotees, who have always laughed at and despised the idea that the movie would make new WATCHMEN fangirls fall in love with Rorschach, and are now victims of this inappropriate lust themselves.

1st rule of DTES - don't talk about DTES
2nd rule of DTES - don't talk about DTES
3rd rule of DTES - lust for Rorschach
4th rule of DTES - realize this lust is wrong
5th rule of DTES - play nice (by Rorschach's standards)
6th rule of DTES - mod has Rorschach powers, don't make her use them

What's with the name? Because we all know where Rorschach would put us if he found out what we were thinking.

The comm's listed interests?

"Biceps, boiling oil, fedoras, freckles, gingers, grappling guns, Jackie Earle Haley, justice, kicking ass, leather trench coats, prison riots, ronch ronch ronch, Rorschach, The New Frontiersman, Walter Kovacs, Watchmen, Watchmen comic, whispering no, and wifebeaters."

Quoth bakarini in the comm's first post:

Welcome to the Elevator Shaft - where you will meet a plethora of people who realize they have a problem.

They have a strong and inappropriate lust for Rorschach.

For any questions that you have, I would like to point you to the profile page. If you're still unsure about anything, go ahead and ask.

Otherwise, go. Be lustful. Have fun. And be prepared for Rorschach to eventually throw your sorry, whoring, lying, liberal, political ass down an elevator shaft.

Thus proving, once again, that fangirls are capable of fangirling ANYTHING.

I look forward to the inevitable fanfic and fanart in which Rorschach *SPARKLES* for countless OC teenage girls, whom he will no doubt rescue and take under his wing as lovers and/or crimefighting partners.

[K-Box]

So, do you guys remember my previous post about the plus4chan thread on gender-reversed pornography of characters from Watchmen? Huh? Remember that?

Well, I've kind of fallen in love with Danielle Dreiberg, a.k.a. the female version of Nite Owl, since she's just as much of a fat, middle-aged nerd as the character she's based on, and "fat, middle-aged nerd" kind of defines my ultimate trifecta of characteristics of The Perfect Woman, so I've hired a highly talented young woman named Cola to draw Danielle Dreiberg, the female Nite Owl, in three phases - in costume as Nite Owl, in her civilian clothes as Danielle, and completely naked, in the midst of having sex with Laurence Juspeczyk, a.k.a. the male version of Silk Spectre.

This commission might take a little while, since while Cola is very prompt (and remarkably inexpensive in her commission rates), her schedule has become much more busy as of late, and especially considering how little she's asking for as a fee, I can hardly expect my silly little pics to take priority over the more important events currently occupying her time.

But in the meantime, please to enjoy some extremely NSFW fan art of Danielle and Laurence getting it on, drawn by a woman who goes by the handle of "Danielle Dreiberg" (heh, talk about identifying with your characters), which is both adorable and arousing:



Hey, it was either this, or else I was going to commission some Rule 34 of Sally Jupiter - and not YOUNG Sally, but OLD Sally, albeit old MOVIE Sally, if only because, if her age makeup is any sort of reliable indicator, Carla Gugino will remain entirely fuckable well into her 60s:



O HAI MILF SPECTRE

Oh, come on; you KNOW Sally would totally be flattered to pose nude for online fan art ("Oh, Laurie, don't be such a stick in the mud! It's just like those Tijuana Bibles, except on the Internet! You should be happy that guys still think your old mom is hot, at my age!"), just like you KNOW that Dan is such a fanboy nerd that, when Sally slapped his ass at the end of the movie, he was totally thinking about asking Laurie if she'd be willing to go in for a mother-daughter three-way of two generations of Silk Spectres (Sally would do it in an instant, but Laurie is canonically established as being Not Up For That Sort Of Stuff, which is just one of many reasons why Sally >>>>>> Laurie).

But I digress.

[K-Box]

Rorschach's LiveJournal. March 17th, 2009:

Mary Sue movieverse fic posted in The Pit this morning, under handle of "Walter'z_Gurl." In story, obvious self-insert character overcomes my aversion to women and becomes "Mrs. Kovacs." Author is stupid teenage whore.

This fandom is afraid of me. I have seen its true username.

The comms are extended wanks and the wanks are full of OOC PWP and when LJ Abuse finally starts strikethrus of accounts, all the trolls will be permabanned.

The accumulated filth of all their woobies and slash will foam up about their waists and all the fangirls and movie marketers will look up and shout "Forgive us, because Jackie Earle Haley's arms were too 'hawt' to resist!" ...



... And I'll look down, and whisper "No."

Also, found amusing image macros of owls saying "O RLY?" Must forward to Dan. Hope his spam filter no longer blocking my e-mails.

[K-Box]

RULE 63 IS NOW OFFICIALLY EMPOWERING TO WOMEN

The following was posted (not by me) on Fandom Secrets:



The artist of the Rule 63 character in question then replied, and so did I:

serenity_winner: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'M ON FANDOM SECRETS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH



Me: BE PROUD AND REJOICE

FOR BOTH YOU AND THE POSTER OF THIS SECRET ARE AMONG THOSE WHO MAKE FANDOM A BETTER PLACE FOR ALL OF US

I WAS ALREADY A BIG FAN OF WATCHMEN FOR YEARS, BUT YOU'VE MANAGED TO TURN A CHARACTER WHO DOESN'T EVEN EXIST IN THE ACTUAL STORY INTO MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THE STORY

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?

ACTUALLY, I KNOW HOW; YOU MADE DANIELLE DREIBERG JUST LIKE SO MANY WOMEN I KNOW, WHO ARE SMART AND SWEET AND BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL AND DON'T EVEN SEE THOSE TRAITS IN THEMSELVES

EVEN THO' I'M A STRAIGHT GUY, DANIELLE IS TOTALLY MY HERO, IN A WAY THAT THE MALE CHARACTER SHE'S BASED ON NEVER WAS

And it's all true; I *heart* Danielle, not in the least because she's the sort of awesome gal that actual superhero comics need more of.

[K-Box]

(Cross-posted from my LiveJournal

Cola82 is an artist who's skilled, prompt and inexpensive in her work, and she's just completed the first third of my Watchmen Rule 63 commission, starring Danielle Dreiberg, a.k.a. the female Nite Owl, who thus far exists only in fan art and fanfic, but is nonetheless one of the best characters in Watchmen, in spite of not actually being a character in Watchmen (PARADOX!!!).

In fact, Madame Cola is such a talented artist that she can convey this character's adorkably smexy sex appeal even with the first two thirds of my commission being completely SAFE for work (yes, for once, the following image is actually NON-pornographic, and can be viewed at your office, or in front of your family), so go ahead and click the pic, to make the BBW even bigger:



I *heart* Danielle and her chubby middle-aged tummy.

[K-Box]

As seen through fangoggles, EnvySkort presents the following view:



The fangirls on watchdom beg to differ, since they see Rorschach as the one on the left ... but they still lust after him anyway.

Not that I'm in any position to judge, lusting as I do after a gender-reversed version of Nite Owl ...